By the time the results came I had opened myself up to the possibility of either set of results, positive or negative.  I definitely wanted the negative results but I was just ready for results…whatever they may be.  It was better knowing than not knowing.  I was really at peace with whatever results were handed to me.  It wasn’t me giving in or giving up, it was me trusting.  Trusting that God totally had a plan here and I wasn’t just floating freely in the wind like a dandelion seed, no direction, no path.

Finally, the phone rang and I recognized the number.  It was the doctor’s office.  I answered and was surprised to hear the doctor’s voice.  I thought the doctor would call only if it was NOT good news, otherwise I was expecting a nurse.  Thankfully, he got right to the point.  “The results all came back negative.  Now we just have to figure out…”  The rest of what he said went a little foggy.  I was processing the word “negative”.  I knew it was a good thing but I had to let it sink in for a minute.  I didn’t say anything and there was a long awkward silence.  Finally the doctor said, “Negative is a good thing!”    “Oh yes, of course!” I said, feeling a little embarrassed.  I was trying to hold it together, to breathe a sigh of relief and not break down with the doctor on the phone.  I’m sure he didn’t sign on for or expect a crazy emotional lady on the other end of the line when he gave good news.  “We can schedule an appointment for you to come back in next week if you would like.”  “Uh huh, ok…”  What was wrong with me?  I couldn’t make a complete sentence…it was good news.  I finally got myself together enough to ask if it was ok to call back later that day to schedule.  He said, “Yes, of course!” and our conversation ended there.

As I gathered myself, all I could say was, “Thank you!”  Thank you to God.  I know He heard the prayers of all the prayers warriors lifting me up.  I know He heard my prayers.  I know he was comforting me through all of this even when I wasn’t reaching out to him.  I know He was waiting, waiting with me, waiting on me to turn to Him, waiting for me to see the reason for going through this.  I may have been waiting all week but God had been waiting, too.

I know there is a reason for everything and God doesn’t let the tough moments go by without a “take away”.  We may not immediately know or realize what plans He has for us but there is something there, a learning moment.  As thankful as I was for the negative results, now I needed to figure out why it was necessary for me to go through it at all.  What was my take away?

Psalm 28:6-7

May the Lord be praised, for he has heard my pleading.  The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him.

Jeremiah 29:11-12

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.