Tag: prayer

What He’s Been Waiting For…

By the time the results came I had opened myself up to the possibility of either set of results, positive or negative.  I definitely wanted the negative results but I was just ready for results…whatever they may be.  It was better knowing than not knowing.  I was really at peace with whatever results were handed to me.  It wasn’t me giving in or giving up, it was me trusting.  Trusting that God totally had a plan here and I wasn’t just floating freely in the wind like a dandelion seed, no direction, no path.

Finally, the phone rang and I recognized the number.  It was the doctor’s office.  I answered and was surprised to hear the doctor’s voice.  I thought the doctor would call only if it was NOT good news, otherwise I was expecting a nurse.  Thankfully, he got right to the point.  “The results all came back negative.  Now we just have to figure out…”  The rest of what he said went a little foggy.  I was processing the word “negative”.  I knew it was a good thing but I had to let it sink in for a minute.  I didn’t say anything and there was a long awkward silence.  Finally the doctor said, “Negative is a good thing!”    “Oh yes, of course!” I said, feeling a little embarrassed.  I was trying to hold it together, to breathe a sigh of relief and not break down with the doctor on the phone.  I’m sure he didn’t sign on for or expect a crazy emotional lady on the other end of the line when he gave good news.  “We can schedule an appointment for you to come back in next week if you would like.”  “Uh huh, ok…”  What was wrong with me?  I couldn’t make a complete sentence…it was good news.  I finally got myself together enough to ask if it was ok to call back later that day to schedule.  He said, “Yes, of course!” and our conversation ended there.

As I gathered myself, all I could say was, “Thank you!”  Thank you to God.  I know He heard the prayers of all the prayers warriors lifting me up.  I know He heard my prayers.  I know he was comforting me through all of this even when I wasn’t reaching out to him.  I know He was waiting, waiting with me, waiting on me to turn to Him, waiting for me to see the reason for going through this.  I may have been waiting all week but God had been waiting, too.

I know there is a reason for everything and God doesn’t let the tough moments go by without a “take away”.  We may not immediately know or realize what plans He has for us but there is something there, a learning moment.  As thankful as I was for the negative results, now I needed to figure out why it was necessary for me to go through it at all.  What was my take away?

Psalm 28:6-7

May the Lord be praised, for he has heard my pleading.  The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him.

Jeremiah 29:11-12

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.

The Waiting – Part 2

The Waiting – Part 2

Waiting

Phillipians 4:6
Do not worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.

After I managed to get myself all worked up about my potential diagnosis, I knew it was time to calm down and go to the one who knows all, sees all and is all.  It only took me a few hours to look at seemingly every site on the web concerning my potential diagnosis as well as get myself so panicked I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.  All I felt like doing was vegging on the couch and eating candy.  Although I do really like candy, I knew this attempt at comforting myself was a problem.

I am the best at getting myself worked up very quickly and taking a long time to calm down.  We had a year full of trauma three years ago and ever since them I worry more than ever.  I know beyond any doubt that worry is not part of God’s plan for my life but it is one of the things I struggle with most.  I heard a speaker at a conference one time use the word “catastophizing”.  That’s when your worry goes immediately to the worst possible scenario.  For example: If someone doesn’t call to check in when they are supposed to, the mind immediately starts to panic and wonder if we should send out a search party to look for their car…in a ditch…on the side of the road.  In reality, they just had to make a quick pit stop to pick up a snack or go to the bathroom and it took them a few minutes longer to get home.  I don’t know if you are the same but I am definitely a “catastophizer”!   I know it, own it and do my best to battle against it but it is hard.  Sometimes I need reinforcements.

Prayer is powerful and God wants us to bring our prayers and petitions to Him.  He wants us to reach for Him, to lean on Him.  We can find peace in Him.  Cast our worries on Him.  In the midst of my “catastrophizing” I realized I had forgotten to call on the name of the Lord to help me.  I knew it was time to make a change and battle the worry that filled my mind.   I needed to call upon the Lord and ask others to do the same.  I didn’t want to cause anyone to worry but I needed to seek peace and also needed to ask for some reinforcements.  The potential diagnosis wasn’t life threatening but it did have the potential to be life altering later in my life and it scared me.  I started praying and asked some of my prayer warriors to intercede for me as well.

It did seem like forever as I waited.  I knew my friends and family were praying for me and seeking God’s comfort for me as I waited.  I was seeking God’s peace for when I finally did receive the results.  It’s a hard prayer to pray.  While I know God is the great physician and can heal anything I also didn’t want to fall apart if, in fact, the results came back positive.  I needed strength not to slip back into my tendency to be a “catastrophizer”!

I believe when I walked out of the doctor’s office on Monday, looking at my history and current symptoms, the doctor believed the results would be positive.  He didn’t say as much but when I asked him directly he said, “Let’s wait on the results before we move forward”.  It might not have been what he meant, however, I took it to mean he thought the results would be positive but he didn’t want to make me worry.  After much prayer, a few calls to the doctors office to see where the results were (I’m working on my patience as well) and a message to the phone nurse, the results were in.  I sobbed, from relief, when I heard them.