O Christmas Tree

Our Christmas family tradition: a special trip to the mountains to get a live Christmas tree. We go to the same tree farm each year. Although it changed ownership this year, the new owners of Frosty’s Trees still carry through with all the same traditions we’d come to know and love. We still got our hot chocolate and s’mores complete with a fun and sometimes really bumpy hay ride.

We arrived at the cabin, settled in and watched football. The game lasted a while and we managed to stay up until 1am or, in other words, waaaayyyyy past bedtime for everyone. We didn’t have anywhere in particular to be in the morning so we could sleep in.

The next morning, we decided it would be best to wait until the afternoon, when we were heading out of town, to get the tree. The morning was filled with other small outings. At least one morning of every mountain trip, we have to go get a sausage biscuit. I don’t have to cook breakfast on “sausage biscuit” days so I don’t argue. And I have to admit I really like a good sausage biscuit. We had some time to spare after breakfast so we went to the local dollar store to do some “shopping”. We didn’t need anything but picked up a few fun items including pink duct tape. We got back to the cabin and I may or may not have taken a nap on the couch while the rest of the family took pictures with me asleep on the couch. (Very funny guys!)

Finally, it was time to go get the tree. We loaded up the car with kids, dogs and all our stuff then headed to the tree farm. It was getting cooler as the evening went along so we decided to get our hot apple cider and hot chocolate to keep us warm while we took our hay ride. The man driving the tractor pulling our hay ride told us to let him know when we saw a tree we liked. It was a BIG farm and we rode for a while finishing up our cider and hot chocolate before we decided to stop.

As we were unloading the hay ride we realized we forgot our tree measuring stick which was also the stick we were supposed to wave to let them know where we were when we found our tree. Then I looked up and realized the hay ride driver was not sticking around until we found our tree. As he was supposed to do, he drove off and left us in the middle of the tree farm. We were on the last hay ride of the day so we knew he wasn’t coming back. Now, I am a pretty tall person but I was no match for those 10 foot tall trees. To our disadvantage, my family was well hidden among the trees. We were kind of laughing at our predicament until we realized the sun was going down and the temperature was dropping. Soon we heard the sound of a “Tree Recovery Vehicle” revving through the rows of trees. The “Tree Recovery Vehicle” (TRV) is an all terrain vehicle, trailer in tow, with the sole purpose of taking trees back to the baler at the farmhouse. Thankfully, our hay ride driver radioed over that he dropped us off without a way to signal them when we were ready. They came looking for us. When the “Tree Recovery Vehicle” got close, we hollered, yelled and jumped up and down (like over-active monkeys) until they saw us and came to our rescue.

We found our perfect tree, loaded it on the TRV and headed back to the farmhouse for some s’mores. After we devoured our deliciously gooey snack, I headed to the car to help strap the tree to the roof. In years past, we drove the truck to get the tree. This year, for various reasons, I decided we should take the car. The truck was easy: throw tree in back of truck, drive home. The car was a whole different beast. We had to strap the tree to the top of the car. I had some straps but soon realized I didn’t have enough straps to keep the tree from flying off the car. The guys helping me strap knew what they were doing and had some extra rope to help tie down. For my job as a rowing coach, I have to strap boats on trailers all the time but strapping a tree to the top of a car, well, that was a whole new experience for me. I thought it would be pretty similar to the boats. Turns out, not so much.

The tree was strapped and we were ready to go. I was nervous but it seemed everything would hold for our 3 hour trip home. We turned out of the tree lot onto the mountain road. So far so good. The tree was still on top of the car. Twisting, turning, putting the straps to the test, still good. It looked like the tree was going to stay on the car after all. Nothing to worry about. Whew! One more turn and we were on the relatively straight “major” road that would carry us most of the way home. We made the turn and everything seemed to be holding…until we got up to about 50mph. As soon as we hit 50mph, there was a loud sound. Fortunately, it was not the sound of the tree flying off the car or scraping on the roof.

The sound was…humming! The tree was humming and it wasn’t humming a nice Christmas tune or making a joyful sound. This hum was a car shaking, eardrum shattering hum. I imagine the sound was similar to that of riding above the engine on the wing of a plane. We needed earplugs but I tried to brush it off and say, “We are just going to have to deal with it. If the sound stops then we know the tree flew off the car. Consider it a safety hum.” My family didn’t buy it.

We made our first stop to try and quiet the humming. From what I could figure, the humming was coming from one of the straps we used on the tree not the tree itself. Thankfully, we had the bright pink duct tape from our earlier shopping ventures. I tried taping the straps I thought were humming and we were on our way. At first we thought the problem was fixed. Not so. As soon as we hit 50 mph the humming was back. Ugh! We tried 2 more times to fix the hum but no luck. The 4th time my hubby figured it out. Finally! 45 minutes from home and no more humming. Lots of duct tape and one sock did the trick. After the humming stopped I turned to my hubby and commented, “Now we won’t know if the tree flies off the top of the car. The safety hum is gone!”

Four hours after the beginning of our trip, we slowly pulled into our very steep driveway while I prayed the tree wouldn’t slide off the front of the car from the angled drive. Down the hill, car in park, we made it! I was so worried the whole trip home that the 10 ft tree would fly off the car but it stayed strapped. Turns out the tree wasn’t going anywhere, even after we stopped. It took us a full 30 minutes to get the tree off the car, free of all pink duct tape and straps.

Success! Mark one more tree outing in our Christmas memories, one I’m sure none of us will forget for a long time. Did I mention we bought an artificial tree a few years ago, our “just in case” tree? Just in case we didn’t make it to the mountains for our annual Christmas tree cutting tradition, we’d have the artificial one on standby. It’s still in the box.

A Day to Be Thankful

This Thanksgiving I had so much to be thankful for.

I woke up on Thanksgiving morning at Mom’s house with my sleepy sweet girl looking like an angel as she slept in the bed on the floor next to my bed. She is a most beautiful sight to see! Sometimes I just stare at her as she sleeps and can’t believe how blessed I am to be Mom to this wonderful sweet daughter.

After we all woke up, my brother and I went on our traditional, “family is all together”, doughnut run. It’s usually a very comical trip while we stand at the counter trying to guess what type of doughnut everyone would like to eat. This year we got smart and took orders before we left the house. It’s a short trip to the doughnut shop but I cherish that time with my brother. That’s why I insist on keeping the doughnut tradition alive.

When we got home we were met with some very excited kiddos, ready to eat their doughnuts. Of course I’m not sure sugar was the best option for breakfast. We had some very rambunctious children after breakfast and I’m certain the doughnuts had everything to do with it. They got loud and I mean really loud. But, as I was listening, I realized that loudness was joy. Overwhelming joy that they could be together as cousins. They love each other, love spending time with each other and cannot help but be loud when they are together. I am so thankful they enjoy their time together even if it gets a little noisy at times.

The Parade! Finally, I remembered the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade starts at 9am and not noon! I miss it every year but not this year. My sweet daughter was so nice to remind me in the morning that I wanted to watch the parade and to check its start time. She watched the parade with me while we built and decorated ginger bread houses with my younger nephew and his Mama. My girl’s ginger bread house only stayed together for a little bit before she started eating all the candy. It did not survive to make the trip back to our house.

The weather was beautiful and perfect for being outside. Hide and seek as well as football and monkey in the middle occupied our time outside. My son and the older nephew threw the football for a long time while our two dogs joined us as we all played outside. Everyone was happy happy happy!

After lunch we sat around the table and told stories from our childhood. The stories included ones about Dad and his skiing adventures. I love remember him and his stories. I miss him so much, especially when the family is all together and he is not sitting at the table with us to add his humor to the conversation.

My oldest brother joined us for our big Thanksgiving dinner complete with turkey, sweet potatoes, three bean salad, corn casserole and all the fixings. So delicious with all the traditional family food. Let me not forget Mom’s incredible pies. She always fixes 5 or 6 pies each holiday, this year: 2 coconut, 2 pecan and lemon meringue. Yummy in my tummy! Mmmmm!

Even better than pie was having the whole family together to celebrate and be thankful together. I am so thankful for my wonderful family, friends and all the blessings God’s given me.

Thank You!

Taking a moment to say thank you!  Thank you to our veterans and current service women and men for their commitment to protect the freedom I am able to enjoy each and every day.

Earlier this year, I was at a celebration of the arts for our county school system.  My son’s chorus was performing alongside various high schools, middle schools and elementary schools.  Some schools danced, some did acting for their art and some sang.  My son’s performance was that show stopping kind of wonderful, of course, but there was another performance that had a lasting impact on me.  The impact on me was actually because of the impact this performance had on those around me.

This particular performance was dedicated to those who served or are currently serving in a branch of the military.  These high school youth presented a song and tap dance to the tunes of every anthem from every branch of service.  As the songs were offered up, each member of that military branch, current or retired, was asked to stand and be recognized.  It was truly wonderful to see everyone standing proud as they were acknowledged for their service.

As I watched and listened, I noticed a man, in his late 70’s, at the end of my row.  He was getting more emotional with each anthem played.  I glanced over at him and noticed his unshakable focus, determined to honor each woman or man that stood to be recognized.  Eventually, the anthem for his branch of service, Air Force, began to play.  As he stood, I watched as he held back tears.

This moment, a few minutes of recognition, seemed to not be enough for all the emotion welling up inside this man.  It was not sad, nor proud, just beautiful.  I realized, for this man, serving his country was more than just a job to him.  It was a passion, a love, a fierce desire to serve and protect his family as well as perfect strangers.  Many years after retirement this man still wore his military heart on his sleeve.

Until that moment, at the county wide celebration of the arts, I never really, truly understood the impact serving in the military had on those who serve.  So, with new understanding, I extend a heartfelt, “THANK YOU” to all the veterans and current service men and women.  Thank you for your compassion and commitment to serve and protect our great country.

What’s the Worry?

Why do I worry?  Maybe it’s because I think I have the super power of worrying.  The more I worry, the more I can control the situation.  That would be pretty awesome but not likely I guess.  Or maybe it’s because I enjoy that out of control, gut wrenching feeling when I worry.  No, no, that’s not it either.  It’s really because worrying gives me a good excuse to eat chocolate. That’s got to be it!  Who doesn’t love a good excuse to eat chocolate?  And that sweet yummy goodness definitely “helps” when I’m worried!  Problem is, if I’m worried all the time…well, that’s a lot of chocolate…and, incidentally, pounds.

So what’s the real reason?  Why do I worry?  Human nature?  Because I selfishly feel the need to be in control of all situations?  (Very big headed of me, I know.)  Is it because I’m a Mom?  Maybe, but that’s another post for another day.  I don’t know if I have the perfect answer to the question.  But my best answer is because I have a trust issue.  I know I cannot control every situation or everyone’s actions.  I have to trust everyone will make the best choice in every situation but that’s not the trust I am talking about.

Matthew 6:27

Can any of you, by worrying, add a single hour to your life?

We definitely cannot add hours to our lives from worry but I do think we can lose hours of our lives to worrying.  From just this past year, if I had all the time back I spent worrying about this or that I would, by now, probably have an extra month.  For a 30 day month there are 720 hours.  Seven hundred and twenty hours seems like a lot of time to spend worrying but if you average that time into a single year it comes to be a little less than 2 hours of worrying a day.  Granted, I don’t worry 2 hours every day.  Sometimes I worry more…

I like to think of all the good things I could do with that extra month of time: I could volunteer more, take my kids out to the park or visit with friends and family.  Sometimes maybe I could use that time to do something for myself, like maybe blow dry my hair instead of running out the door with a wet head everyday or have a minute to file my nails.  (It’s the little things that keep me happy!)

I may have gotten away from the point.

If I really look hard at those times I worry, my trust issue is glaring right back at me.  Am I trusting the One who is really in control to work everything for my good?  Or am I nervous something is not going to go exactly the way I would have planned?  Funny thing about my plans, they don’t always work out the best for me.  So who am I trusting?  Am I trusting myself to make the best decisions or am I relying on the Lord to put every piece in place in every situation?  The right answer, and I want this to be my answer, would be to say, “Of course I am trusting God!” but, right now, I would be a big fat liar if I said that.  How do I know?  Because I worry so much!

Psalm 112:7

They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are secure trusting in the Lord.

I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS!

What He’s Been Waiting For…

By the time the results came I had opened myself up to the possibility of either set of results, positive or negative.  I definitely wanted the negative results but I was just ready for results…whatever they may be.  It was better knowing than not knowing.  I was really at peace with whatever results were handed to me.  It wasn’t me giving in or giving up, it was me trusting.  Trusting that God totally had a plan here and I wasn’t just floating freely in the wind like a dandelion seed, no direction, no path.

Finally, the phone rang and I recognized the number.  It was the doctor’s office.  I answered and was surprised to hear the doctor’s voice.  I thought the doctor would call only if it was NOT good news, otherwise I was expecting a nurse.  Thankfully, he got right to the point.  “The results all came back negative.  Now we just have to figure out…”  The rest of what he said went a little foggy.  I was processing the word “negative”.  I knew it was a good thing but I had to let it sink in for a minute.  I didn’t say anything and there was a long awkward silence.  Finally the doctor said, “Negative is a good thing!”    “Oh yes, of course!” I said, feeling a little embarrassed.  I was trying to hold it together, to breathe a sigh of relief and not break down with the doctor on the phone.  I’m sure he didn’t sign on for or expect a crazy emotional lady on the other end of the line when he gave good news.  “We can schedule an appointment for you to come back in next week if you would like.”  “Uh huh, ok…”  What was wrong with me?  I couldn’t make a complete sentence…it was good news.  I finally got myself together enough to ask if it was ok to call back later that day to schedule.  He said, “Yes, of course!” and our conversation ended there.

As I gathered myself, all I could say was, “Thank you!”  Thank you to God.  I know He heard the prayers of all the prayers warriors lifting me up.  I know He heard my prayers.  I know he was comforting me through all of this even when I wasn’t reaching out to him.  I know He was waiting, waiting with me, waiting on me to turn to Him, waiting for me to see the reason for going through this.  I may have been waiting all week but God had been waiting, too.

I know there is a reason for everything and God doesn’t let the tough moments go by without a “take away”.  We may not immediately know or realize what plans He has for us but there is something there, a learning moment.  As thankful as I was for the negative results, now I needed to figure out why it was necessary for me to go through it at all.  What was my take away?

Psalm 28:6-7

May the Lord be praised, for he has heard my pleading.  The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him.

Jeremiah 29:11-12

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.

The Waiting – Part 2

The Waiting – Part 2

Waiting

Phillipians 4:6
Do not worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.

After I managed to get myself all worked up about my potential diagnosis, I knew it was time to calm down and go to the one who knows all, sees all and is all.  It only took me a few hours to look at seemingly every site on the web concerning my potential diagnosis as well as get myself so panicked I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.  All I felt like doing was vegging on the couch and eating candy.  Although I do really like candy, I knew this attempt at comforting myself was a problem.

I am the best at getting myself worked up very quickly and taking a long time to calm down.  We had a year full of trauma three years ago and ever since them I worry more than ever.  I know beyond any doubt that worry is not part of God’s plan for my life but it is one of the things I struggle with most.  I heard a speaker at a conference one time use the word “catastophizing”.  That’s when your worry goes immediately to the worst possible scenario.  For example: If someone doesn’t call to check in when they are supposed to, the mind immediately starts to panic and wonder if we should send out a search party to look for their car…in a ditch…on the side of the road.  In reality, they just had to make a quick pit stop to pick up a snack or go to the bathroom and it took them a few minutes longer to get home.  I don’t know if you are the same but I am definitely a “catastophizer”!   I know it, own it and do my best to battle against it but it is hard.  Sometimes I need reinforcements.

Prayer is powerful and God wants us to bring our prayers and petitions to Him.  He wants us to reach for Him, to lean on Him.  We can find peace in Him.  Cast our worries on Him.  In the midst of my “catastrophizing” I realized I had forgotten to call on the name of the Lord to help me.  I knew it was time to make a change and battle the worry that filled my mind.   I needed to call upon the Lord and ask others to do the same.  I didn’t want to cause anyone to worry but I needed to seek peace and also needed to ask for some reinforcements.  The potential diagnosis wasn’t life threatening but it did have the potential to be life altering later in my life and it scared me.  I started praying and asked some of my prayer warriors to intercede for me as well.

It did seem like forever as I waited.  I knew my friends and family were praying for me and seeking God’s comfort for me as I waited.  I was seeking God’s peace for when I finally did receive the results.  It’s a hard prayer to pray.  While I know God is the great physician and can heal anything I also didn’t want to fall apart if, in fact, the results came back positive.  I needed strength not to slip back into my tendency to be a “catastrophizer”!

I believe when I walked out of the doctor’s office on Monday, looking at my history and current symptoms, the doctor believed the results would be positive.  He didn’t say as much but when I asked him directly he said, “Let’s wait on the results before we move forward”.  It might not have been what he meant, however, I took it to mean he thought the results would be positive but he didn’t want to make me worry.  After much prayer, a few calls to the doctors office to see where the results were (I’m working on my patience as well) and a message to the phone nurse, the results were in.  I sobbed, from relief, when I heard them.

The Waiting, Part 1

I walked into the doctor’s office last Monday to get my hand checked. It was swollen and hurting quite a bit. I thought, possibly, I had broken a bone in my hand, maybe pulled a muscle or strained something. I left the doctor’s office light headed and probably a little pale. He would not treat my hand until he sent me to get blood work for a potentially life altering immune system disease. What I thought was going to be a simple splint to fix it or maybe a cortisone shot to calm the swelling turned into a week of waiting and worrying!

The doctor sent me away with a prescription for testing. I saw the doc on Monday, went for testing on Tuesday and then I had to wait. Wait for results, wonder about what the results might be. Would they be positive or negative? If positive, would these results lead to a major life adjustment now? Would a positive result and diagnosis mean I would lose some mobility and function later in life? I had so many questions and so many what if’s. I hadn’t even been diagnosed yet. I was waiting but I was also worrying…A LOT!

“Stay off the internet!” Those were the last words the doctor said to me before I left his office. It was great advice but of course I didn’t take it! Information, scary information, is so readily available. Honestly, before I even left the doctor’s office I had already looked up the disease. I told him as much and that’s what prompted him to advise staying off the internet. When I got home, of course, I had to find as many websites as possible with information about the disease. The doctor was right, it was a mistake to look at the internet.

I looked at all the risk factors, treatment options, home care suggestions. By the time I was done, I had convinced myself the tests were going to come back positive. As I read the risk factors I was a match for every single one of them. Swollen, painful, warm knuckles…check, age…check, family history…check and the list went on from there. I had myself so worked up that I was one misplaced sock away from bursting into tears. I’m not sure why I didn’t listen to the doctor. Oh wait, yes I do.

The waiting! It is not always easy to wait for something, especially potentially bad news. I had to do something to ease my mind while I was waiting. Easing my fears by looking at the internet DID NOT work! I thought for sure I would find some information to take the worry away and make the waiting easier. I was wrong. I looked at a lot of different websites and none of them eased my fear but they definitely made it worse.

Every time I get myself worked into the cyclone of worry I have a seemingly impossible struggle to get out. I imagine myself stuck in a worry tornado going around and around with no hope of escape. Kind of like the cow from the movie Twister, around and around the heifer went, mooOOOooo mooOOOooo. Just like the cow, every time I get close enough to yell (or in the cow’s case moo) for help the cyclone tears me away again. There is only one true hope to keep me from the tornado of worry, one that will be with me wherever I am, cyclone or not.

Phillipians 4:6
Do not worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.

Candy Crush!

Yes, yes it is another post about candy.  I may have a candy problem or rather a candy crush.

When you walk in, it’s right there!  In almost every store they have their seasonal merchandise right at the front as you walk in the store.  This time of year these “seasonal displays” are particularly problematic for me.   The decorations for Halloween are cute and all but it’s the giant bags of candy that get me almost every time.  You know the ones I’m talking about.  The bags of candy you are supposed to give to the trick or treaters but you buy them 5 weeks ahead of time pretending like you won’t eat it all before October 31st even gets here.

It happens every year and I’m pretty sure they are putting the candy out earlier and earlier each year because of people like me.  I actually don’t even need to buy Halloween candy to give to the trick or treaters because no one EVER comes to our house.  We live in a neighborhood with long driveways, few street lamps and lots of woods.  Kids just don’t come in our neighborhood for candy and especially not too our house.   No matter, I still buy those huge bags of candy pretending like I’m getting it so the kids can have some bite size treats to eat.  Then I proceed to hide it so I can ration it for the kids to keep them from eating it all at once.  Turns out I’m the one the I need to hide the candy from.

Before I can even get home from the store I’ve already opened the bag and tasted every shape and flavor of bite sized treat in the bag.  Did I mention I bought 2 bags?  Of course you have to get one of the super sugary bags with SweetTarts, LaffyTaffy, Nerds and all but you also have to get one bag with chocolate goodness in it too.  Did I mention I don’t discriminate when it comes to candy?  I like to give the all sugar candies just as much of a chance as the chocolate candies when it comes to being eaten.

Inconspicuously, I walk in the door, candy bags concealed in the grocery bag.  No one knows what I’ve done.  Three hundred little treats through the door and into the kitchen, just like that!  I find a little bowl so I can pour some of the candy in to “ration” it, like I mentioned above.   Then I hide the rest of the candy.  I can’t tell you where I hide it in case my family reads this post.  It is a TOP SECRET hiding place.  Actually if they knew it existed and/or looked very hard they could find it.  I didn’t want to hide it too hard for fear I couldn’t find it again.

Hiding place secure but there’s one problem, I still know where to find the candy.  Out of sight, out of mind doesn’t work for me when Halloween candy is involved.  It’s like it calls my name and beckons for me to come relieve it from those little plastic wrappers.  Of course, I am happy to oblige.   The other night I ate so many individually wrapped Halloween candies before I went to bed I think it gave me trick or treating nightmares.

I bought it 3 days ago and we are now down to about 200 pieces left.  I don’t know if that will hold me until Halloween!  I may have to go find some more seasonal displays to rummage through before the 31st.  I mean I need to make sure I have some Halloween candy just in case a trick or treater shows up, right?   Right?

Trick or Treat!

Quality Time

Isn’t it great when you have one of those days?  It’s a day where you have not so many commitments and you can just relax and spend time with family.  Yesterday, Sunday, was one of those days for me.

We had our church time in the morning but afterward we had only one other commitment for my son and husband, so it ended up being just us girls.  The best part, I was able to hang out with my daughter all afternoon.  Sure there were chores and errands I could have been doing like vacuuming the floors that are currently covered in A LOT of dog hair or cleaning the bathrooms but those things can wait.  Instead, I chose to let my daughter pick our activities for the afternoon and we had the most fun.  Precious time with my precious girl.

She is an industrious little 8 year old and really likes to straighten and clean…I know, I’m very lucky!   She had already been in our sun room, which doubles as a very messy playroom/craft room, picking up and putting things away as well as using the floor sweeper to get some of the extra craft bits off the floor.  Then I realized she was doing all of this, not only to be helpful, but she wanted to play in the sun room, with me!  I was so excited!  Sometimes I feel like she is growing up too fast and won’t need her Mama to hang out with her much longer.

We started out with a quick lunch in the sun room at the table she had taken time to set up before inviting me to join her.  After lunch we watched some videos on how to waterfall and ladder braid hair and then gave braiding a shot.  We were not very successful in our attempts to do these fancy, tricky braids and had to laugh at how badly we braided.  We will have to keep practicing.

Next up..marbles.  We carefully built our marble mazes and sent our marbles racing through.  First we built our own contraptions then combined both of ours to make one giant marble maze.  Turns out playing with marbles is very relaxing and mesmerizing.  Holding their smooth glass in your hand and then watching them go around and around in the marble maze almost put me to sleep.

After marbles we moved to the kitchen table for a drawing competition, eyes closed at first then we actually got to look at the paper while we drew.  Marshmallow, 3-D letter “A”, salt shaker, bacon and Elsa were among our artistic attempts.  Oh and Hannah Rae drew a smiling face on everything, bacon included!

While we were playing I told Hannah Rae how, when she was younger, she used to put me down for a nap and cover me up with a blanket. Soon after we were done with braiding, marbles and drawing, she decided she should put me down for a nap.  After she got us both some candy, she snuggled down with me for nap time.  I still love it when my kids snuggle with me.  Pretty certain that will never get old.

It was the sweetest afternoon.  I forget sometimes when we get into the swing of things that I need to give my kids one on one attention and not just one on one help with homework.  They need it and I need it.  It was refreshing to just be, to forget about the dirt and clutter in the house, to be home with my baby girl pushing aside all other responsibilities.   However, I do realize we cannot take 3 hours each afternoon to play and have fun like this.  I know homework and schedules will not allow this type of interaction all the time.  But I do know there are moments each day when we can steal away for a few minutes to have some quality time as a family or in a one on one setting.  Maybe we can spend a few moments in the morning before they rush off to school or maybe it’s when they get home from school.  I don’t read them books anymore at bedtime because they can read but I can take a few moments, before they go to sleep, to talk with them about their day or ask them their very favorite part of the day or week.

Yesterday I realized maybe I hadn’t been paying as much attention to my kids individually outside of all the daily routine stuff.  Of course I pay attention to them, feed them, help them with homework and see them during the day but do I really SEE them.  Do I see when they are struggling or maybe didn’t have the best of days. I know I did a good job spending time with them when they were younger but now they in school and have more commitments.  I wondered,  “Do I really focus in on what is happening in their lives aside from their daily routine?”  I’ve given myself a new challenge: Make the time to create those special moments.  Find the time to be in tune with what is happening in my kids’ lives.  They are growing up so fast, too fast, and time doesn’t seem to be slowing down in spite of it.  Try to capture sweet moments each day, even if it is only a few minutes.  They are only young once and before I know it they will be grown and out of the house.  Make each moment count!

Now I have my challenge in place and I’m ready to seek out quality time with my kiddos, but right this moment I’ve got to get some of those chores done that I neglected yesterday like vacuuming all the dog hair off the floor.

Have a most wonderful day filled with the sweetest moments!

Life Happens…In Your Dreams

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “In your dreams”.  It brings to mind images of unattainable goals and events that probably won’t happen, things we can only dream about.  I also remember several times in my life where someone used those words to knock me down a peg or two or bring me back to reality.

“In your dreams” took on a whole new meaning for me a few nights ago when my dream started feeling more like a nightmare.  The day hadn’t been particularly stressful or exhausting and I got to bed at a reasonable hour, which is unusual for me.  All in all I felt I could go to bed with a clear conscious and a good feeling about my day.  My dreams had other plans.

Dreams are supposedly an extension of your subconscious.  Apparently my subconscious was trying to tell me something this particular night…  My family and I were at a function but I don’t quite remember what we were celebrating.  The party was just ending and we were leaving.  There was a man standing at the dimly lit exit door doling out gifts to everyone.  He seemed familiar but I could not recall why or how I would know him.  The light from the exit shone behind him to reveal his slight build and arms that seemed to be 4 feet long.  Calmly animated, he handed out items from his seemingly bottomless gift bag.  He reached in with his long arms and selected a teddy bear for the girls and an action figure for the boys.  The exit line inched forward with each gift received, until he got to me.  When he saw me, he stood straight up, looked at me with his piercing gray eyes and said, “For you I have something special.”  I was filled with excitement as he searched his deep gift bag for this “something special”.  No teddy bear or action figure for me, my gift was special.  With anticipation I waited until, in his hands, I saw his gift for me.  When I saw the gift, I wasn’t sure how it was “special” because it was just a regular old planner.  As he handed it to me he said, “Maybe now you can get yourself organized.”  Almost like a slap in the face, I realized he was judging me.  But how could he?  After looking over the planner for a few seconds I looked up at the “gift” man and he had a disapproving smirk on his face.  I stumbled back with a gasp and managed to keep myself from falling to the floor.  Was he judging me?!  Then he said, “Maybe you can get it together now.”  As I stood wide eyed in disbelief, my thoughts swirled in my head.  I wanted to say something to him about his rudeness.  He didn’t know anything about me.  How dare he judge me?  The thoughts of what to say or do didn’t come to me fast enough because my eyes opened.  I was awake.

I was so befuddled in those few groggy moments after I woke.  I just lay in bed thinking, “Who was this man and what was he trying to tell me?  What gave him the right to give me a planner as if to say, “Get yourself together woman!”  I really do like a nice planner and would have been excited to receive it as a parting gift but it was the way he gave it to me.   That judgmental smirk on is face!  It burned me up!

Finally I was alert enough to realize I’d been laying there for quite a while trying to figure out that silly dream and what it meant.  I looked at the clock and was already running late getting my day started.  The kids had school that day and were not awake yet.  I still needed to shower.  The dogs hadn’t been let out.  There was breakfast to make and lunches to pack…ugh!

Then it hit me, the tall, lanky gift man was right!  I was a mess some mornings and really needed to get my act together, especially this particular morning.  Maybe he should have been handing me an alarm clock instead of a planner though.  Some mornings are better than others of course but this particular morning my dream was on point.  Although, I do kind of blame the “man in my dreams” for making me wake up all frazzled in the first place.

Lanky Man – 1, Me – 0, but I’ll get him next time!