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Thank You!

Taking a moment to say thank you!  Thank you to our veterans and current service women and men for their commitment to protect the freedom I am able to enjoy each and every day.

Earlier this year, I was at a celebration of the arts for our county school system.  My son’s chorus was performing alongside various high schools, middle schools and elementary schools.  Some schools danced, some did acting for their art and some sang.  My son’s performance was that show stopping kind of wonderful, of course, but there was another performance that had a lasting impact on me.  The impact on me was actually because of the impact this performance had on those around me.

This particular performance was dedicated to those who served or are currently serving in a branch of the military.  These high school youth presented a song and tap dance to the tunes of every anthem from every branch of service.  As the songs were offered up, each member of that military branch, current or retired, was asked to stand and be recognized.  It was truly wonderful to see everyone standing proud as they were acknowledged for their service.

As I watched and listened, I noticed a man, in his late 70’s, at the end of my row.  He was getting more emotional with each anthem played.  I glanced over at him and noticed his unshakable focus, determined to honor each woman or man that stood to be recognized.  Eventually, the anthem for his branch of service, Air Force, began to play.  As he stood, I watched as he held back tears.

This moment, a few minutes of recognition, seemed to not be enough for all the emotion welling up inside this man.  It was not sad, nor proud, just beautiful.  I realized, for this man, serving his country was more than just a job to him.  It was a passion, a love, a fierce desire to serve and protect his family as well as perfect strangers.  Many years after retirement this man still wore his military heart on his sleeve.

Until that moment, at the county wide celebration of the arts, I never really, truly understood the impact serving in the military had on those who serve.  So, with new understanding, I extend a heartfelt, “THANK YOU” to all the veterans and current service men and women.  Thank you for your compassion and commitment to serve and protect our great country.

Quality Time

Isn’t it great when you have one of those days?  It’s a day where you have not so many commitments and you can just relax and spend time with family.  Yesterday, Sunday, was one of those days for me.

We had our church time in the morning but afterward we had only one other commitment for my son and husband, so it ended up being just us girls.  The best part, I was able to hang out with my daughter all afternoon.  Sure there were chores and errands I could have been doing like vacuuming the floors that are currently covered in A LOT of dog hair or cleaning the bathrooms but those things can wait.  Instead, I chose to let my daughter pick our activities for the afternoon and we had the most fun.  Precious time with my precious girl.

She is an industrious little 8 year old and really likes to straighten and clean…I know, I’m very lucky!   She had already been in our sun room, which doubles as a very messy playroom/craft room, picking up and putting things away as well as using the floor sweeper to get some of the extra craft bits off the floor.  Then I realized she was doing all of this, not only to be helpful, but she wanted to play in the sun room, with me!  I was so excited!  Sometimes I feel like she is growing up too fast and won’t need her Mama to hang out with her much longer.

We started out with a quick lunch in the sun room at the table she had taken time to set up before inviting me to join her.  After lunch we watched some videos on how to waterfall and ladder braid hair and then gave braiding a shot.  We were not very successful in our attempts to do these fancy, tricky braids and had to laugh at how badly we braided.  We will have to keep practicing.

Next up..marbles.  We carefully built our marble mazes and sent our marbles racing through.  First we built our own contraptions then combined both of ours to make one giant marble maze.  Turns out playing with marbles is very relaxing and mesmerizing.  Holding their smooth glass in your hand and then watching them go around and around in the marble maze almost put me to sleep.

After marbles we moved to the kitchen table for a drawing competition, eyes closed at first then we actually got to look at the paper while we drew.  Marshmallow, 3-D letter “A”, salt shaker, bacon and Elsa were among our artistic attempts.  Oh and Hannah Rae drew a smiling face on everything, bacon included!

While we were playing I told Hannah Rae how, when she was younger, she used to put me down for a nap and cover me up with a blanket. Soon after we were done with braiding, marbles and drawing, she decided she should put me down for a nap.  After she got us both some candy, she snuggled down with me for nap time.  I still love it when my kids snuggle with me.  Pretty certain that will never get old.

It was the sweetest afternoon.  I forget sometimes when we get into the swing of things that I need to give my kids one on one attention and not just one on one help with homework.  They need it and I need it.  It was refreshing to just be, to forget about the dirt and clutter in the house, to be home with my baby girl pushing aside all other responsibilities.   However, I do realize we cannot take 3 hours each afternoon to play and have fun like this.  I know homework and schedules will not allow this type of interaction all the time.  But I do know there are moments each day when we can steal away for a few minutes to have some quality time as a family or in a one on one setting.  Maybe we can spend a few moments in the morning before they rush off to school or maybe it’s when they get home from school.  I don’t read them books anymore at bedtime because they can read but I can take a few moments, before they go to sleep, to talk with them about their day or ask them their very favorite part of the day or week.

Yesterday I realized maybe I hadn’t been paying as much attention to my kids individually outside of all the daily routine stuff.  Of course I pay attention to them, feed them, help them with homework and see them during the day but do I really SEE them.  Do I see when they are struggling or maybe didn’t have the best of days. I know I did a good job spending time with them when they were younger but now they in school and have more commitments.  I wondered,  “Do I really focus in on what is happening in their lives aside from their daily routine?”  I’ve given myself a new challenge: Make the time to create those special moments.  Find the time to be in tune with what is happening in my kids’ lives.  They are growing up so fast, too fast, and time doesn’t seem to be slowing down in spite of it.  Try to capture sweet moments each day, even if it is only a few minutes.  They are only young once and before I know it they will be grown and out of the house.  Make each moment count!

Now I have my challenge in place and I’m ready to seek out quality time with my kiddos, but right this moment I’ve got to get some of those chores done that I neglected yesterday like vacuuming all the dog hair off the floor.

Have a most wonderful day filled with the sweetest moments!

Life Happens…In Your Dreams

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “In your dreams”.  It brings to mind images of unattainable goals and events that probably won’t happen, things we can only dream about.  I also remember several times in my life where someone used those words to knock me down a peg or two or bring me back to reality.

“In your dreams” took on a whole new meaning for me a few nights ago when my dream started feeling more like a nightmare.  The day hadn’t been particularly stressful or exhausting and I got to bed at a reasonable hour, which is unusual for me.  All in all I felt I could go to bed with a clear conscious and a good feeling about my day.  My dreams had other plans.

Dreams are supposedly an extension of your subconscious.  Apparently my subconscious was trying to tell me something this particular night…  My family and I were at a function but I don’t quite remember what we were celebrating.  The party was just ending and we were leaving.  There was a man standing at the dimly lit exit door doling out gifts to everyone.  He seemed familiar but I could not recall why or how I would know him.  The light from the exit shone behind him to reveal his slight build and arms that seemed to be 4 feet long.  Calmly animated, he handed out items from his seemingly bottomless gift bag.  He reached in with his long arms and selected a teddy bear for the girls and an action figure for the boys.  The exit line inched forward with each gift received, until he got to me.  When he saw me, he stood straight up, looked at me with his piercing gray eyes and said, “For you I have something special.”  I was filled with excitement as he searched his deep gift bag for this “something special”.  No teddy bear or action figure for me, my gift was special.  With anticipation I waited until, in his hands, I saw his gift for me.  When I saw the gift, I wasn’t sure how it was “special” because it was just a regular old planner.  As he handed it to me he said, “Maybe now you can get yourself organized.”  Almost like a slap in the face, I realized he was judging me.  But how could he?  After looking over the planner for a few seconds I looked up at the “gift” man and he had a disapproving smirk on his face.  I stumbled back with a gasp and managed to keep myself from falling to the floor.  Was he judging me?!  Then he said, “Maybe you can get it together now.”  As I stood wide eyed in disbelief, my thoughts swirled in my head.  I wanted to say something to him about his rudeness.  He didn’t know anything about me.  How dare he judge me?  The thoughts of what to say or do didn’t come to me fast enough because my eyes opened.  I was awake.

I was so befuddled in those few groggy moments after I woke.  I just lay in bed thinking, “Who was this man and what was he trying to tell me?  What gave him the right to give me a planner as if to say, “Get yourself together woman!”  I really do like a nice planner and would have been excited to receive it as a parting gift but it was the way he gave it to me.   That judgmental smirk on is face!  It burned me up!

Finally I was alert enough to realize I’d been laying there for quite a while trying to figure out that silly dream and what it meant.  I looked at the clock and was already running late getting my day started.  The kids had school that day and were not awake yet.  I still needed to shower.  The dogs hadn’t been let out.  There was breakfast to make and lunches to pack…ugh!

Then it hit me, the tall, lanky gift man was right!  I was a mess some mornings and really needed to get my act together, especially this particular morning.  Maybe he should have been handing me an alarm clock instead of a planner though.  Some mornings are better than others of course but this particular morning my dream was on point.  Although, I do kind of blame the “man in my dreams” for making me wake up all frazzled in the first place.

Lanky Man – 1, Me – 0, but I’ll get him next time!

Why Now?

Two years ago I was struggling to heal from some major life events.  I was falling into a dark place and struggling to claw my way out.  Funny thing about that dark place, sometimes the more you struggle the faster you fall.  Like quick sand, stay completely still and let the darkness engulf you slowly or struggle to get out and sink even faster.

During this time, I was holding onto so much anger.  It was not only affecting my life but also the lives of those around me.  I couldn’t function as a mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister.  I did my best to pretend nothing was wrong and I was alright.  Pretend everything was ok and eventually it would be, right?  I didn’t want to burden anyone with what I was feeling.  I cried alone every day and my sleep was filled with nightmares.  I was bitter and didn’t see signs of my bitterness taking leave any time soon.  I closed myself off and refused to let anyone in to help, not even the One who could help the most.  My bitterness and anger was building a wall between my Maker and me.  He was the One who loved me more than I could ever imagine and I turned Him away.

I just couldn’t snap out of it on my own and wasn’t sure what my purpose was anymore.  Knowing I could not carry this burden any longer, I began praying for relief, for some direction or guiding light that would lead me out of the dark.

It started small at first, like the fast burning flame of a match.  I could see brief moments of light in the darkness.  God was just waiting for me to call on Him, to turn to Him.  He didn’t try to rush me.  He didn’t try to quickly illuminate me with His radiance.  In His perfect timing, He eased me back into the light.  After sitting in the dark, isn’t it better to gradually let your eyes adjust to the light instead of suddenly turning on the brightest light?  I had been in that dark place for a long time.  Too much brilliant light would hurt my eyes and make me turn away.  God knew my eyes and heart needed to readjust to what I knew was true and right but, for me, it had to happen slowly.  At first it was hard to follow the light.  Was I really ready to let go of all the anger and bitterness I held onto for so long?  Some days I could feel myself sliding backward but I was making gradual progress.

I continued praying for and seeking the guidance I so desperately needed.  The challenge was to listen for God’s answer instead of trying to figure it out all on my own.  One day in prayer, the need to write came to me so clearly.  Almost as if the words were being written for me, I needed to write about what I’d been through and what I was going through.  I needed to write down the sweet moments in life that made me feel emotion, any emotion other than anger and bitterness.  Then I began writing about those funny moments in life so I could look back and laugh. God was leading me to write, to heal.

Suddenly I found myself with a new burden.  Instead of the burden of frustration, anger and sadness, I now felt a burden to write, a call to write.  Would this writing be something I could share with others?  Could my writing help even one other person going through a similar situation to me?  Could it bring joy to someone’s day, give them a chuckle or maybe even make them laugh out loud?

It took me over a year to finally submit to the plan I felt God had for me.  I came up with a lot of reasons why I should not start this blog and why I should keep my writing to myself; I am really good at making excuses.  Finally, after much prayer, realizing there is never a perfect time and that there will always be plenty of excuses, it’s time to step out in faith.  I’m really excited, nervous and down”write” scared to start this blog but, in faith, know this is the path I am supposed to take.

My prayer is that, while reading “andthisreallyhappened”, you will find inspiration, humor and a connection to let you know you are not alone.  Thank you for taking a few moments from your day each day to join me here.

Love, Laugh and Live in Him,
Christine